From Permission to Possibility: The Power of Trusting Yourself

2 days ago

7 min read

Reflections on Womanifest Big Ignition, breaking free from inherited blueprints and the journey towards Phoenix Rising.

In September 2026, I stood on stage at Womanifest Big Ignition to deliver a talk entitled “Why Intelligent People Still Get Stuck.”

I had prepared my notes, considered the messages I wanted to share and thought about how I could make those key messages meaningful for the people in the room.

Then something happened - I stopped following the notes I had prepared and trusted myself to speak from my own experience, knowledge and understanding.

The beautiful synchronistic being that the very thing I was encouraging others to do was exactly what I was doing in that moment.

Trusting myself.

Not waiting for somebody else to tell me what to say. Not worrying about getting every word right. Simply trusting that I already had what I needed.

When I reflect on the journey that’s brought me to this point, that moment feels more significant than it might initially appear.

The blueprints we inherit

During my talk, I spoke about my background in the NHS and the pathways we find ourselves following.

I trained as a nurse qualifying back in 2009, developed my career progressing to senior management and supported some huge transformations across Cheshire East. I had built an identity around a profession that carried expectations, responsibilities and a particular definition of success. For a long time, that was my pathway.

It was a stable career and one of progression and care for others. As I came to the end of that pathway frustration and challenge kicked in as I became despondent with the decisions made around key aspects of my role and the bigger picture of the work I contributed to. I came to understand is that being capable of doing something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s where we’re meant to remain. But how could I step away and start again at the age of 40?

We inherit so many blueprints throughout our lives.

• What a successful career looks like.

• The relationships, families and responsibilities we should have.

• How we are supposed to behave.

• What we are allowed to want and what we should be grateful for.

Some of those blueprints serve us beautifully whilst others gradually become limitations we don’t even recognise.

We become so accustomed to following them that we forget we ARE allowed to question them.

At Womanifest, two women shared their own experiences of leaving the NHS.

Different stories, different circumstances but a shared understanding of what it means to question a pathway that once felt like the right one.

It reminded me and others there that we can spend years building a life that makes perfect sense to everybody else, while quietly questioning whether it still makes sense to us.

Just because you have followed a pathway for years doesn’t mean you have to follow it forever.

The £23 decision

There’s a memory from 2012 that will always stay with me. In 2012 I secured my first nursing promotion to deputy sister. Something I was very proud of.

My first husband and I were going to his best friend’s wedding. Whilst out shopping at Asda with another friend I found the prefect outfit. The complete outfit was £23.

Twenty-three pounds.

Not an extravagant purchase. Not an enormous financial commitment. An outfit for a wedding and I questioned if I should buy it as I worried about the repercussions. My friend told me “if you don’t buy it I will” so I did!

It wasn’t really about the £23 it was about permission.

Within my role I was trusted to make decisions that affected other people’s lives yet here I stood questioning whether I was allowed to spend £23 on myself for a celebration.

It was about having reached a point in my life where somebody else’s approval determined whether I could make even the smallest decisions for myself.

When you live within environments where your choices are continually questioned, restricted or controlled, it can become incredibly difficult to recognise your own authority.

You begin second-guessing yourself. You question whether what you want is reasonable. You learn to justify your needs, your desires and sometimes even your existence.

Over time, you can lose sight of what trusting yourself actually feels like.

I did not become the woman I am today overnight.

There have been years of questioning, healing, learning, challenging old beliefs and making decisions that haven’t always been comfortable.

I look back at that woman in 2012 with compassion.

She didn’t yet recognise how much was possible.

From £23 to five figures

Fast-forward to October 2026. I’ve recently made a significant five-figure investment in myself and my business.

What struck me wasn’t simply the amount of money. It was how I felt when I made the decision. There was no waiting for permission. I wasn’t paralysed by fear. I didn’t try to justify why I deserved to invest in myself.

I had considered the opportunity, explored what it could mean for my development and my business and made a decision that felt aligned with the direction I wanted to take.

Of course, financial decisions require consideration, responsibility and an understanding of the commitments we are making, but for me, this was about something far greater than a financial transaction.

It was about self-trust.

The contrast between those two moments in my life is extraordinary.

In 2012, I felt I needed the permission to make a £23 decision about an outfit.

In 2026, I’m making substantial decisions about my future because I recognise that I have the right, the capability and the responsibility to choose for myself.

And perhaps the most powerful part?

I don’t feel as though I’m becoming somebody else.

I feel as though I’m finally allowing myself to embody who I’ve always been.

Why intelligent and capable people still get stuck

This is something I see repeatedly in my coaching work.

Intelligent, capable people who can solve complex problems, support others, manage enormous responsibilities and achieve incredible things.

Yet when it comes to making decisions about their own lives, they feel stuck.

Not because they’re incapable.

Not because they lack intelligence, ambition or potential.

It’s because their decisions are influenced by years of conditioning, expectations, experiences and beliefs about who they should be or how they should behave.

Sometimes the environments we’ve lived or worked in have taught us that keeping the peace is safer than speaking up.

That safety is more important than fulfilment.

That other people’s needs should always come before our own or that changing direction means we have failed.

When those beliefs become embedded, they can shape our choices without us even recognising they are even there.

Sometimes we already know something needs to change.

The Phoenix Framework

My experiences, both personally and professionally, have shaped the approach I now use within my coaching practice.

I call it the Phoenix Framework.

Notice → Question → Choose → Act → Embody

Five interconnected stages that support people to move from awareness towards meaningful, sustainable transformation.

• Notice what’s happening in your life, how you’re feeling and where your needs, values or aspirations may no longer be aligned.

• Question the beliefs, expectations and patterns influencing your decisions. Whose blueprint are you following? Is it one you’ve consciously chosen?

• Choose what you want to do differently, recognising that you have agency and that your choices deserve consideration.

• Act on those choices, taking steps that are meaningful and manageable for you.

• Embody the changes you’re creating, so that trusting yourself becomes part of how you live rather than something you occasionally attempt.

Transformation isn’t about creating an entirely new person.

It’s about reconnecting with who you are beneath the expectations, experiences and limitations you’ve accumulated along the way.

Phoenix Rising: The next chapter

As I look towards 2027, something incredibly meaningful is beginning to take shape.

Phoenix Rising isn’t about becoming somebody new, it is about the whole embodiment of who you have always been destined to be.

A continuation of the philosophy that has shaped both my personal journey and my professional work.

A celebration of transformation, self-leadership, authenticity and the courage to choose a different path.

I will be bringing together different parts of my world, including my love of storytelling, creativity, connection and personal development, to create something that reflects what Phoenix Rising truly means to me.

In 2027 I will be bringing that philosophy to life in a way I’ve dreamed of for longer than even I realised. I’m not revealing everything just yet and that’s intentional. So keep your eyes peeled!!

For perhaps the first time, I’m allowing myself to enjoy the process of creating something significant without feeling the need to rush towards the outcome.

I’m trusting my vision.

I’m trusting the decisions I’m making.

And I’m trusting myself to bring it to life.

There’s something incredibly powerful about that when I think about where this journey began.

What would you choose?

If there’s one thing I hope people took away from my Womanifest talk, it’s that we don’t have to remain confined by the pathways we’ve followed or the environments that have shaped us.

We can acknowledge our experiences without allowing them to dictate our futures.

We can appreciate what a particular chapter taught us without feeling obligated to stay there.

We can question the expectations we’ve inherited.

And we can begin making decisions that reflect who we are and what we genuinely want.

Sometimes that begins with something enormous.

Sometimes it begins with something as simple as recognising that you deserve to make a £23 decision for yourself.

Either way, transformation begins when we start recognising our own capacity to choose.

So I’ll leave you with the question I shared through my work at Womanifest:

If you trusted yourself to make the decisions that were right for you, what might become possible?

And perhaps more importantly…

What’s one step you could take towards that possibility today?

About the author

Steph Scragg BSc is the founder of Inspiration Coaching & Consultancy Ltd, a Transformational Executive Coach and Strategic Development Consultant.

Drawing on her background in nursing, leadership and personal transformation, Steph supports individuals and organisations to challenge established patterns, develop authentic self-leadership and create meaningful, sustainable change.

She is the creator of the Phoenix Framework and is currently developing Phoenix Rising, a transformational experience planned for 2027.